I won a free copy of This Is How I Lied by Heather Gudenkauf in a Goodreads giveaway. Special thanks to Bookclubbish for hosting the giveaway and the publisher Park Row. All opinions expressed are solely my own.

In this book we’re following Detective, Maggie Kennedy-O’Keefe, as she is the lead who is tasked with reinvestigating the 25-year cold case homicide of her best friend, Eve, when new evidence is found. As she digs deeper into the mystery of who killed her friend on that fateful night, she’s forced to remember the tragedy and confront some uncomfortable truths about herself and those closest to her.

I was excited to read this. The synopsis sounded so intriguing and I was ready for a suspenseful read that would keep me guessing. Unfortunately, the execution didn’t quite make it up to par. About halfway through the book it fell kind of flat for me and I had to force myself to finish it, which was disappointing since it started so strong. I ended up giving this book 2.75-3/5 stars.

There were several main characters that we are introduced to. The story is told in three different perspectives: Maggie, Nola, and Eve’s. Gudenkauf employed flashbacks as a tactic to help draw suspense and move the story along. The two main characters are Maggie and Nola. Nola is portrayed as a psychopath but I felt like it was over the top and a lot of parts didn’t add up or were just thrown in for the sake of trying to freak the reader out. Her character confused me. Maggie was Eve’s best friend and the lead detective on the case when it was re-opened. I didn’t find her character to be genuine and I wished Gudenkauf would have either committed to the unreliable narrator for her or made her more believable and made me want to care about her. There was a part in the story where someone says something to her and she attempts to protest and they argue and she just accepts what they’re saying. It felt extremely fake and I didn’t understand why she would roll-over and it made no sense and if the author wanted it to change the plot, I felt like her character needed to be different before that scene as it didn’t make sense just randomly being thrown in. 

Things about the crime were confusing. Without any spoilers, to say that the events and the ensuing case were shady is putting it mildly. The original case didn’t result in an arrest but whenever Maggie talked about her father, former head detective, working on the case, things seemed off. 

Overall, this book wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t the suspenseful novel that I was expecting. This was my first read by Gudenkauf so that was kind of a letdown, but I’m open to reading more from her in the future.